Tuesday, May 19, 2015

25 Jokes That Only Accountants Will Find Funny

Rreprint from Business Insider
by: Libby Kane

Today is National Accounting Day, and it's the perfect time to celebrate the brave souls who balance our books, sort out our files, and lead the way through tax season.

To thank the pros who crunch the numbers so we don't have to, we polled accountants and auditors and scoured the web to round up 25 jokes that only accountants will love.

1. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
2. What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
3. It's accrual world.
4. It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
5. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
6. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
7. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
8. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
9. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don’t understand.
10. Why did the accountant cross the road? Because she looked in the files and did what they did last year.
11. How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
12. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
13. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
14. Be audit you can be.
15. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.
16. What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A late night.
17. An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
18. Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
19. What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he's boring.
20. What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? Bob.
21. How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
22. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don't tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]
23. What's an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humor.
24. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
25. Four Laws of Accounting:
      1. Trial balances don't.
      2. Bank reconciliations never do.
      3. Working capital does not.
      4. Return on investments never will.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Deducting Summer Camp

Summer is almost here and the kids are excited and counting down the days.  But for parents, summer can bring stress and worry as they scramble about looking for childcare once school is out.

Fortunately, the IRS allows for tax credits for day camp for the pre-teen and younger set under the "Child and Dependent Care Credit."  Of course there are some stipulations. This is a short rundown of what the IRS has to say about deducting day camp expenses from your taxes.  
  • The expense for day camp is eligible for the child and dependent-care tax credit if your child is under the age of 13. However, the credit is also available for older children, your spouse, and any other dependents of any age, who are not able to care for themselves.
  • If your 12-year-old child turns 13 while in day camp you can claim the amount that applies before the birthday after prorating the expenses. 
  • Specialized day camps can still be considered for the credit. So if the day camp focuses on soccer, golf, science or art, the expense still counts.
  • The credit does depend on your income and the number of kids you have.
  • If you participate in a "flexible spending account" at work, you're able to use the cash for day camp.
  • Every camp should have an employer identification number (EIN). The name and EIN needs to be put on your tax forms. For church or school-based camps, you will only need to specify that they're a tax-exempt organization. No tax identification number is needed.
  • Sleep-away camp expenses are not eligible for the credit. These camps are treated as an option, while day camp is treated as needed childcare.
  • Next tax season may seem very far away but make sure to get the EIN when you use the camp, and hold onto receipts for camp costs you have paid.
Of course, with the IRS, there are always other exceptions to the rule, so talk with your KOS Advisor is you have any questions or concerns on these issues.  IRS Publication 503 provides details regarding income and the limits of the credit as well.